Not Winning Christmas

In keeping with the Christmas pile tradition:

Joe's pile

My pile

Our pile

This year, my mom made everyone stuff. Special awesome stuff. Like the table runner here, and the two pillowcases with Charlie Brown Christmas fabric. Heirloom stuff.

The pink giraffe, sewn by my sister, is a replica of an ornament made for us by one of my grandmas. I think my little sister and I fought over ownership of it at one point, and she won. This year, she made Joe and me these little guys. LOOK WHO WON NOW!

Speaking of winning, my parents compete each year to see who can give the other the best Christmas presents, who will "win Christmas." I guess Joe and I kinda do that too. It's okay for my parents, because their birthdays are in the middle of the year and within a month of each other, but Joe and me...his birthday was three months ago. He got cool stuff. There was nothing cool left to get for him for Christmas, especially since he never wants anything.

That is why my most exciting gifts were a Razer gaming mouse and mousepad and a Razer keybaord, while his most exciting gift was a case of a discontinued flavor of Canada Dry ginger ale.

I don't think there are many gifts we could give each other that would change our lives much. I came to the conclusion that whatever I got Joe, it would be about making his life better while he played video games.

It reminds me of the olden days, Christmas in my family, when we all played together and Christmas gifts were video cards, RAM, and EverQuest expansions.

Now We Can Have Christmas.

I cleaned the house yesterday. Now we can have Christmas.

My living room and kitchen were 'kay. They get tidied up almost every day (except on the weekends when I'm too busy sitting in front of my PC for 12 hours, eating out of Tupperware and cans.) However, every other room in our house looks like the inside of a closet. I throw stuff in and shut the doors and say "Look how nice and perfect it is in the living room, Joe!" and just try not to think about it.

But the more unperfect it gets, the more it bothers me. I start to feel...sort of stretched...like butter scraped over too much bread. (LOL that was from Lord of the Rings. I made myself laugh.)

In April. note the Christmas tree.

Constantly in the back of my mind as I went about my daily business was the massive cascading pile of a year's worth of cardboard boxes on one of our enclosed porches that I've been avoiding. You can't have Christmas with the haunting presence of a pile of empty boxes hiding, waiting. So, finally, Joe and I flattened them all and took them downstairs.

Someone didn't want to have Christmas with those couches.

I put like three of those giant trashbags there. And the cardboard pile, it doesn't look so big now that it's flat. That white spiral is the base of the fan I put out to keep the cardboard from flying away, at least until someone takes the fan not knowing that it got fried months ago when I plugged it straight into a 220 outlet.

That's the porch last year, when we first moved in. Before the boxes and the frying.

It's amazing how you can re-home anything instantly here. Just put it downstairs, and someone will take it within a few hours. Bag full of rancid recyclable milk bottles? Gone. Dead microwave with sign on it saying "broken" in English and Korean? Gone. $20 bill? Gone. That pile of cardboard (and the fan, of course) was already gone this morning, and the trash guys don't even work today.

So. I got the unperfect room organized. Thank goodness for that giant cabinet I found outside. (See? put anything downstairs, and someone will come along and get their very kind friends to help them stuff it into the elevator and drag it into their apartment.)

Also, I cleaned out our four "stuff drawers," and the fridge, and the freezer, and a few weeks ago I cleaned up the other porch. All that's left now is NOTHING. Christmas morning, whenever that is - I think this year it will probably be on the afternoon of the 26th, but some years it's at night on the 27th or 28th after we drive back home from visiting our families - will be peaceful and beautiful and lovely and I won't have to feel like butter at all.

In other news, on the 15th, I had a party. There were red ribbons hanging from the windows of my apartment so people could find it more easily. So many people came over with delicious food and spent time together. It was nice to be with almost all the ladies I like here in Korea (though there were a few missing - sad.)

Advent calendars. I love them. These were the only ones they had at the PX. I bought them, we ate some of the days, then we forgot about them. Joe had maybe nine advent chocolates to eat yesterday, the lucky duck.

We made a business trip to Seoul. On the way, we stopped at Osan Air Base's Chili's restaurant. This is the only place we've been in Korea where we get American food with American service. I mean, just LOOK at this, guys!

Yes, those are both mine! One of them has been dranken (hehe, "dranken") out of until it's almost gone. AND THEN OUR WAITRESS BROUGHT ME ANOTHER ONE EVEN THOUGH MY FIRST ONE WASN'T EMPTY YET.

If you're like, "Yeah................cool........?", then you OBVIOUSLY haven't eaten at a restaurant in Korea. Think of the second-worst service you've ever gotten at a restaurant, and you're pretty much thinking of what it's like here all the time. Maybe it's because servers don't get tipped in Korea. You get a drink after you arrive, like normal, and you'd better make it last until your food comes so you can ask the server for another one, and then you'd better make that one last through your meal because you can pretty much expect to never get another drop unless you go wandering around with your cup until you find out where the Coke comes from.

Then, there's this.

Some nights, moving the furniture in the living room and dragging our mattress out of the bedroom, watching Christmas movies (It's A Wonderful Life and Die Hard,) the Christmas tree the last light to go off before we sleep. Retreating so deep into home that time stops. Love. Love.

It's Christmas Eve now. We'll play video games and go to the grocery store and check the mail. Dinner will be crockpot BBQ ribs with cornbread and sweet tea, and Christmas morning will be in a couple of days. It'll be perfect.

Annual Shoe Candy

I spent a couple hours of my super-busy Army Wife day yesterday with a thread and needle and a bag of cranberries to make a garland for our Christmas tree. I also made "orangeaments," dried slices of orange with twine threaded through holes at the top, to be hung on the tree. (Last year, I had dried slices of apple as ornaments too, but this year that didn't work out very well so it'll just be the oranges.)

The funny thing about having all these natural ornaments for our Christmas tree is that our tree is made out of plastic and lead.

Anyway. When I was growing up, every year St. Nick - not to be confused with Santa - well, he kind of is, just on a different day - would visit after we went to sleep on the night of December 5th. He'd leave candy in our shoes for us to discover in the morning. I'm pretty sure the reason he visited us and skipped most of the other people in the U.S. (and Korea) is that my mom's family is German, and St. Nick is also German, so he likes us. He still visits me, and now Joe, too.

I got the best of three seasons: Christmas candy, Cadbury creme eggs, and a caramel and marshmallow and chocolate pumpkin. St. Nick knows exactly what my favorites are. I love how the cranberry garland was used to decorate, too.

Joe got a lot less than me, probably because St. Nick thought he'd be happier that way. Just one box of Moose Munch and one Hillshire Farms lunchmeat tupperware full of handmade sugar-free peanut butter cups that tasted like they probably should have been thrown away but St. Nick probably ran out of chocolate after making a second failed batch of them and decided to just go with it. Still, half of the peanut butter things are gone.

Maybe I'll have some candy left by Monday. Probably not. That box of Milk Duds is already empty.

Surviving?

For a while, zombies were my favorite animal. Or maybe second favorite, after velociraptors, I don't know. So the few times I've dressed up for Halloween in the past ten years, I've used the same costume idea: cut up some old clothes - suggestively but tastefully - pour like a gallon of fake blood on myself, and drag one of my feet behind me while chasing people and groaning. (Although last time, I never actually made it out of the bathtub where I applied the blood.)

Then came the five years when I did nothing for Halloween.

But this year was going to be different. I assumed we would be going to a party, and I wanted to dress as a League of Legends character. I was so excited, I started trying to plan my costume in August. Then I didn't buy anything for it and never made it, and there wasn't going to be a party anyway...and it was 8:30 on Halloween morning when I decided maybe I still would do something. Something different.

This year, I was a SURVIVOR.

I put on some of Joe's old worn-out Army boots that look all dirty and scuffed up, and some baggy black pants, and a sliced-up white tanktop. (I wasn't planning on going anywhere in my costume, and it's not making an appearance on my blog, either.) I didn't have any fake blood, so I used red food coloring, red lipliner, and brown eyeshadow to make scrapes and bruises. Then I put sheets over the windows (so no one could see the light coming from my fourth-floor safe haven) and lit little candles in clusters everywhere, since of course the power's been out for weeks because the zombies have killed everyone and I only want to use the generator to power my freezer. Then I hid the fresh wound on my arm with some napkins, medical tape, and an Ace bandage and served dinner with water bottles from my stash. (I still have a decent supply of water from an office building I scavenged through.)

He wasn't using it anymore.

My last companion died a while ago. There isn't enough room for him in the freezer, obviously, so I've had to eat that meat first. This is pretty much all that I have left of him. The maggots grossed me out at first, but they're not so bad once they stop moving.

And my arm...I told Joe that I got cut. I want to just pretend everything's normal for a little while longer.

Back From the Dead!

I haven't posted anything in months, so it would be awkward for me to start again. Occasionally, though, I think of something I want to share.

This seemed like a perfect way to break the ice.

Mummies in their tomb, preparing for their assault on the living

The scrambled eggs are just in a pile. Joe said I should have made a pyramid out of them. I wish I had thought of that.

You Are My Sparklers

HI GUYS!

It's the 4th of July here in South Korea. We usually spend Independence Day with Joe's family (mine gets Easter,) but this year we are 93487534 miles away from our families, and that is sad. So here are some pictures to make our families less sad.

What we're doing today:

Does anyone else think I look a little like Aunt Saundra in this picture?

SURPRISE! It's video games. In the background is the crockpot where the BBQ pork to shred is cooking. The stuffed animal is Raffles from Singapore. The banner on the wall says "HAPPY TURBOFIRE WIN" because Joe made it for me when I finished my workout program before we went on the vacation. My hands are like that because I'm showing you that I painted 8 of my fingernails yellow, and 2 of them pink, because I am so hip and cool and snazzy and impressed with myself. We aren't going to any festivities. I did want to climb out of the window in the elevator engine room onto the roof of our apartment building to look for fireworks later, but I think we might just skip that.

This is fruit salad:

This is the puppy we're babysitting - whose mom will be happy to see her in this picture - sitting next to the sock she's been dragging around, and the puzzle we started last night which would have been on the floor normally but is instead taking up our table so the puppy doesn't eat it:

This is inside our freezer:

That's a bag of vegetable waste to be recycled, which is in there to keep fruit flies away. As for the ice cream, I took a picture of it so I could show you which ice cream to never buy. It's got Chips Ahoy cookies in it. That sounds great in theory but doesn't work in ice cream. They've turned powdery and disgusting. We'll have eaten all of it by tomorrow evening.

I hope you noticed I'm wearing red white & blue. I miss you, Joe's mom and dad, and I also miss my mom and dad, and Robby and Katie, and my grandparents, and my cousins, and my aunts and uncles. So: I love you all, I'll see you in like ten months, and don't buy Breyers BLASTS! Chips Ahoy! ice cream!

Christmas Pictures...for New Year's Eve

I mentioned last post that I'd be preparing a Thanksgiving meal for us on Christmas Eve. I wanted everything to be fancy, so I decorated the table.

I didn't have a white tablecloth, so I used a polyester sheet (I have a thing for using bedding on the table) which I'd rejected for use as bedding because it was slippery and annoying. I couldn't find candleholders at the PX, so I used a bundle of white Christmas lights in the center of the table for soft lighting. I didn't have any cloth napkins, so I just used paper ones, and tied them with ribbons cut from a gift bag.

My sister back in the U.S. insisted that we have mashed potatoes, so I made some.

There was one last dried-out poinsettia for sale at the Commissary. I brought it home. No one should be alone on Christmas Eve!

Before bed, we left cookies and milk for Santa, and mini M&Ms for the elves.

When we woke up, we found that the elves had eaten the candy. Santa had left giant cookie crumbs on the floor on his way out the door.

 

As for us, we had pancakes after the gifts. RAINBOW PANCAKES. (And bacon and eggs.) Joe mixed mini M&Ms into the pancake batter, and I watched without saying anything even though I knew the colors would get all runny, and it turned out to be the most beautiful culinary no-no I have ever seen.

I spent most of the day playing with my new camera. We had grilled cheese for dinner. I know that sounds lame, but it's not the typical Kraft-Single-between-two-slices recipe; it's my mom's gooey cheesy fried-y delicious recipe we first tasted around Christmas last year, at her house, when I asked what was for dinner and she was like "grilled cheese" and I was thinking "Really? You couldn't have made something delicious?" before I knew what it was and now we've probably eaten it about 18 times this year.

Despite the 7,052 miles between us and our families, our Christmas was relaxing and comfy and Christmasey and almost perfect.

Christmas Piles: A Tradition

It's the day after Christmas. Joe's at work, the dishes are washed, and I didn't bother to wake up until 1:00 PM. The apartment's quiet, except for the washing machine and the Christmas music. I can hold on to the holiday for a few more days.

Most of my gifts are still under the tree where I arranged them yesterday afternoon. It's not that I'm not interested in them. I just want them to stay there, new. Every year I look forward to arranging my gifts after I open them all. When we three kids were growing up, Santa would leave our presents set up in semi-circles, or piles, for each kid to find on Christmas morning. Our piles grew throughout the day; Santa's gifts would be the base of the pile, then we'd unwrap and add gifts from our parents, then we'd get even more gifts from our extended family.

My pile from Santa, 1997

1997

My pile from Santa, 2000

All three piles (with my brother's in the middle and mine on the left and my sister's on the right,) 2000

2006, at my parents' house

2008, in the trailer

2009, Fredericksburg VA

2010, in Georgia when Joe was in AIT

The last three pictures are my and Joe's piles combined.

Looking through these pictures makes me think of all the things we've collected together, and everything we have to look forward to seeing again once we unpack the storage unit back home. Including our couch. Sometimes I forget we have things like that - a TV and a couch and a car. Just like real grownups!

2011, South Korea

That's my pile this year (though it's missing the gifts we opened before Christmas.) I'm super happy about my new camera. I'm also thrilled with my new backpack. You wouldn't think that'd be something to get excited over, but it really is since I never leave the house without a backpack now that we don't have a car to store everything in. I'm also excited about the Korean book I picked out...and the jewelry I didn't pick out. (I just love it when Joe buys jewelry for me.) Also not pictured is stuff that didn't get here in time for Christmas: The Twilight Zone boxed series, and a League of Legends shirt. And the newest Stephen King book. I get the latest SK book for Christmas every year, 'cause good book + Christmas candy is another one of my favorite traditions. When I found myself bookless on Christmas Eve, I went to the PX and picked one up.

So there you have it. Christmas pile arranging, a delightful tradition.

Our Christmas Break, the Summary

As you probably guessed, my long silence was because of holiday stuff.

Joe was released for Christmas break at 7:00 a.m. on December 18th. After standing in line for an hour and a half, I was able to sign him out. We went home and went to sleep. Thus started our 16-day vacation.

We were due to leave for Virginia on the 21st, but traveling preparations were delayed when I slept through most of an entire day instead of packing, cleaning, and wrapping presents. I don't know what I had, maybe a sinus infection, but I was exhausted and could not stay awake. So that was exciting. But we left on the 22nd, both of us sick and with the dog (Jack) sedated and crammed into the passenger's-side footwell (where he prefers to travel, if he absolutely HAS to travel.)

We arrived in Fredericksburg and spent a couple of days and half of Christmas day with Joe's parents, and an evening visiting with his grandparents. It was awesome to spend time with everyone and to sleep in Joe's old room, which had been cleaned but was still very much Joe's old room. We watched TV a lot, and it was kinda fun because we don't have cable. We got to watch shows about food and outer space (but not food and outer space at the same time.)

On Christmas day, we drove to Gloucester, three hours away, to spend half of Christmas and a couple of days with my family. Of course there's nothing like being back home, even when your joyous arrival is tainted by dog vomit (more on that later.) We had a  days-long LAN party at the kitchen table with my brother, his girlfriend, me and Joe, fueled by candy and cokes, and it was super fun. (Also, I poisoned Jack, but more on that later, too.)

It was wonderful to be in Virginia again and I was sad to leave (even slightly depressed,) but it was also a relief to get home.  At 10 or 11 p.m. on whatever night it was we got home (the 28th, I guess,) with the dog washed and the car unloaded, Joe and I had our fourth Christmas.

Like every year, we had a quiet New Year's Eve at home. It's kinda become our holiday, the one we spend with just each other instead of switching back and forth between family houses. We stayed up 'til midnight playing video games, watched the ball drop in Times Square from an online live video feed, and played more video games when that was over.

Joe's nightly school schedule just started up again the day before yesterday, so things are slowly getting back to normal. I'm so not ready for this vacation to be over! But it was pretty darn perfect...family, video games, sleeping in, forgetting what day of the week it is...perfect.

O, Christmas Tree!

Meant to have this posted two days ago. Limited 'net connectivity.

Here are the pictures from the day we decorated the Christmas tree.

Hung by the chimney with care...YAY! We have a chimney!

Joe pets an ornament and Jack looks SO FUNNY

A belated Merry Christmas to all!