My Death Sentence

    Because I never grounded myself in what the Bible says, I've been guided by worldly deceit (or, at best, worldly stupidity.)
    According to the world, a “bad person” harms others and is just generally scum. Because I met the world's definition of a “good person” – someone who doesn't harm others and does their best to be fair and to be kind to everyone – I felt pretty good about myself. I knew I was supposed to be asking God for forgiveness of my sins...but what sins? I'm fine. I don't do anything wrong. I'm a “good person.”
    So I rarely felt guilty about anything. Because I rarely felt guilt, I rarely felt the need for forgiveness. Because I rarely felt the need for forgiveness, I basically felt equal to God.
    So, there I was, reading the Bible (like a good person) when I got two big doses of truth.
    The first was: I deserve to die. If I were in Old Testament Israel, according to what's written in Deuteronomy 22, I'd have not one but two death sentences. We're not under that law anymore, of course, since Jesus's death, but God's perspective of the seriousness of those offenses hasn't changed. I still deserve death. Do you have any idea how disturbing that is? Here I am with every blessing imaginable – an amazing husband and a happy marriage; a safe, comfortable home; luxury, health, and my whole life ahead of me – when technically I earned death by rocks sometime back in 2004.
    When I came to that realization, I felt shaken and serious and kiss-the-ground thankful, like I just walked away from a car accident that should have killed me. I don't deserve to be here. Every second is an incredible gift.
    The second thing I learned about was God's perspective on obedience. Deuteronomy 28 starts off  talking about how, if Israel was obedient to the Lord, they would be rewarded with security, health, prosperity, every good thing imaginable. If they carefully followed God's commands, they'd be a great nation, a picture to the world of God's protection and favor.
    The chapter then lists the consequences for disobedience. The consequences include “curses, confusion, and frustration in all that you undertake to do,” failure and loss in every area of life, and warfare so bad that the resulting famine would cause mothers to eat their own children. The disobedience warning in all its solemn horror just kept going on and on. It was unsettling.
    Anyway...I'm thankful that we're not in Old Testament Israel...and so thankful that God is with me, no matter how many death sentences I deserve.