I'm Still Awake?

I've slept two and a half hours in the past two days. It was a lovely night's sleep.

It's now 2:00 AM on the day that shall be Friday when the sun comes up but is still Thursday night because it's dark outside. So, since it's technically Friday, that means that...tomorrow I get on the plane to my new life. But since it feels like Thursday, the day after tomorrow = airplane day.

I've been busy. I won't bore you with extensive details, but I will say that most of my office work is done and most of my apartment is now clean enough for me to walk away from. I moved everything from all the other rooms into the living room, cleaned the other rooms, and am avoiding the living room so I don't have to see everything I still have to do.

Bird poo scraped out of the carpet: check! Dog hair vacuumed out from around the baseboards: check! Curdled milk poured down the drain and three trashbags full of refrigerator stuff taken to the dumpster: check! Pack all my stuff: empty checkbox looks like a cage.

It's been a productive and long couple of days and I think I'm not coherent. Today I ate a piece of pizza and an antibiotic and no lunch and a Subway sandwich and a brownie with milk. I'm hungry now but what's left in the fridge is breakfast. It's pizza.

Tomorrow I take apart my computer desk and disconnect my internet umbilical cord. And then I go to Joe's parents' house and I sleep there so they can take me to the airport the day after tomorrow. And I think Joe's mom is going to make lasagna!

You know...I've told you guys how I quickly I got used to not having Joe around, and how getting used to it is a necessity. I learned that you gotta look forward to what you have and never wish for what you can't have. Enjoy the 5:00 AM wakeup calls and never think about what it would be like to spend a lazy weekend together. Make the video chatting the best part of your day and don't think too hard about the fact that the face you're talking to is attached to a body that can stand up and take a few paces back from the screen and look a lot like an actual person who used to live in your house, except a lot smaller and blurrier.

I guess what it comes down to is that I don't cry when I'm not in his arms 'cause I don't remember what it feels like to have his arms around me.

I know, I've already talked about that. I'm just in awe that in just a few days I get to experience reality again. There's a husband in my computer, and now I get to go find him in the real world. And go on an adventure. In a foreign country. And be the luckiest girl ever.

The luckiest girl ever has been fueled by pure excitement rather than sleep for the past 48 hours and could probably go for another 6 or so, but is now going to treat herself to a nap.